The Radical Act of Rest
The time we rest is the most powerful
In college, I was told that “sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is sleep.” Those were wise words from a friend’s dad. I have carried those words for a long time as someone who works hard in every aspect of my life and is extremely driven. I found these words life-altering. To think that the best thing we can do is to stop, sleep, and rest our minds, bodies, and souls. It shifted something in me even then, but the older I have become, and the more in tune I become with nature’s rhythms and wisdom, the more I see how not only is rest necessary but radical in our modern life.
In my 20s, I was driven when I started my brand design business and blogging career. Everything was about my work and the value I attached to it. Rest was just a necessity in life to recover from conferences, speaking gigs, travel, and to bring mental clarity. It was intended solely to recover myself to keep chugging and pushing. My driven nature led to challenges, though, when I had a panic attack after traveling from South Africa, to Detroit for a client and then heading to speak at a conference in Dallas and then to a conference to speak in Palm Springs, all in a matter of a few weeks.
I remember laying in my hotel room under the heaviest blanket I could find while my heart raced and my mind felt out of control. I thought something was wrong till my friend/roommate came in and found me when I had skipped a few sessions. She comforted me and then said, “You are having a panic attack,” and talked me through the whole thing. At that moment, I thought of the line that sleep, aka rest, was the most spiritual and life-giving thing in our life. I was 27 then, and as driven and clear as I was about my career, I noted I couldn’t be good at this if I didn’t find balance with rest.
This was pre-kids and the beginning of my journey to understand what rest, space, and inhaling mean in life. This was just the beginning of understanding what it means to do the most radical thing: rest.
When I became a parent, that journey continued. I thought it would happen when the baby arrived, but instead, it happened in the final weeks when my doctor said, “You need to rest if you want to keep yourself and the baby safe. No more working out.” As a past collegiate athlete and someone who finds deep comfort in the ability to do, this was the unraveling of a new relationship to rest once again. I knew from the past I couldn’t overwork anymore. I had to take less work on and learn to say no, but now understanding that our bodies aren’t designed to keep always moving was another layer. Then, when my son arrived, it took an immense amount of time to heal physically and hormonally from the experience. I held too high of expectations and my body had things it needed to heal before I could get back to the self I wanted not knowing that that self wasn’t coming back, it never would. Instead, the experience and then the rest would help me become something new altogether.
Every step from there was a continual lesson in understanding rest, slowing down, taking time, and readjusting myself to listen to when, how long, and why. A practice I assume will take my entire life to have an ear for with my body, but I have learned after all these years and the continual flow of moments in my life that come in and out like the water at the lakeshore that these moments are not just important to our well-being, but they are the greatest and most impactful ways we can counter and give back to the greater world as well.
I am sure most of you have seen it, but there was a post going around that said, “I never knew a relaxed woman….” It was a whole thing about watching so many women never being calm and then another at some point talking about all the things women hold. I believe all of this to be true, but I think because of this we don’t always know where to look for understanding how to rest and to rethink productivity.
In the year before getting pregnant with my daughter, I got sick with a virus that stole my energy for nearly 4 months. It will stay with me my entire life and surfaces here and there. I must be slow enough to give my body space to do the necessary work. I cannot overwork anymore. I cannot overdo anything in my life for too long. Bursts here and there, sure, but months and weeks without proper rest and hydration, and the right foods can about drain everything from me and leave space for the virus to return, forcing rest as my only way of production. The tiniest things, like dishes or dinner, are the biggest in those moments. It’s my body’s way of forcing me to sit down and do a different form of productivity we never glorify, yet I have learned to over the years.
At that moment when I first experienced the virus, I committed to deep healing and the resetting and listening to nature. I watched the seasons intently. I watched the soil, the trees, the bugs, the birds, the wind, the sunlight. Everything became an opportunity to learn. In nature, productivity is all around us. It comes in cycles. There is the period of production/abundance, then of gathering and letting go, and then to rest, which is the only way new growth can begin. These cycles hold equal importance in the system of regeneration. Each one is just as important as the next one. Yet, we don’t give them the equal weight they deserve. Summer’s abundance is celebrated (rightfully), but no summer will be that great without a long and important winter or rest period. And no season of growth in spring could have space with the releasing that has happened in fall.
We think so often that rest is a time of dying back, endings, being without, isolated, etc, yet as I focused on healing and reshaping my relationship to productivity, I learned that not only is rest necessary, but it is the change that has to occur for growth and production. This is ultimately the outcome of what we build while resting. Our production of anything is simply only a reflection of how well we rest. This is in many forms, too. The ways we let our body physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually rest are all essential to what will be the ultimate outcome. I have learned to rethink and reshape the act of rest by leaving that space as if it is the very thing that will allow us to produce anything of value in life.
The soil around the land here hasn’t rested enough (or I don’t believe so) this winter. I am not sure what they will mean for growth, the health of the soil, and what it will allow us to grow within it. I am already mindful of what I am asking of the land when I plant seeds in the coming weeks ahead of us. Seeds that I am expecting to enjoy what the rest will give life to. I think I am not much different from the soil when I see how important the rest is to the degradation of the mulches and compost that I set in the fall or how important the rest and snow cover is to protect from erosion.
We want to praise a shorter rest time and a milder winter as if it means we garner more life because of it, but if we watch closely enough in nature, this is far from true. With a warming climate, our Sugar Maples no longer survive or produce the sweet sap we harvest. The Spruces won’t have enough days of freezing temps, and the wild alliums will struggle to know when to emerge. Winter isn’t a time of death but a time of setting the energy needed to produce the harvest.
Watching these winter days be so mild this year will be a fascinating and important experiment in this theory. I wonder how it will play out and what it will offer us in lessons and information, not just about growing things but for ourselves.
I plan to soak in all the finality of winter this month—the liminal days between winter and spring come in March. I hope to extend the rest as long as I can, both in myself and the soil. Knowing and valuing the way it will give life when the time is right to do so.
Tips for Rethinking Productivity
We love to idolize production so that anything resting can feel agitating or frustrating. An email is not coming to us as quickly as we want. Waiting for someone to send along something. Our meal took longer than expected. We cannot finish all of our to-do lists every day. Even in nature, we feel uninspired by how winter slows everything down. So here are some ways I have learned to restructure my ideas of productivity:
Create value systems for tasks: Sometimes, I do this when I feel overwhelmed with my list. I will make the BIG list. Then, I will write numbers to know the value or feeling of productivity it will add. Then I will tackle those things, check-in, and if I need a break, I will take it. The most important things are done, and I don’t feel overwhelmed, so now I have space to reset before the next things.
Define what is restful for you: Sometimes, we must understand that working out brings calm. Sometimes, doing a sauna or walking with a friend or anything along these lines can also be seen as a point of rest that brings production down the road.
Note how rest gives life: When we can see the way rest brings out our best selves sometimes it garners a new perspective. Take note of what happens when you shut your laptop, go on a walk, make dinner, and then spend the rest of the evening reading, away from anything that begs of you to produce anything. What do you feel like when you head to bed that night? What did you dream about? What new ideas emerged? What did you feel like when you woke up?
Let go of the unnecessary: I will come up with everything that must be or set high expectations that things must be just so. I usually have to identify why that is there and why I feel that weight. Once I can identify the desires, I can see they aren’t mine but something else, and rest comes easier.
What are ways you have rethought about your productivity? Any tips!?
On my mind this week
I have been DEEP in course reading and work, but I have also spent time thinking and doing other things to offset all the intake of info I am constantly doing. I am loving it, but being back in school as a parent is a wild experience, so here are some things inspiring, bringing me joy, etc, this week:
Climate change: I wrote a whole thing on Instagram the other day. It started flowing when I woke up with it all in my head. I plan to share the thing permanently on Monday, so it has somewhere to live, but I think it’s important to discuss how we feel the weight of what is right in front of us right now.
Seeds and garden: This warm-up made me realize I must adjust when I seed things. I have to move my timelines some. I will be gone when I probably should seed my peas so that I may do it before, but I am ordering everything before I leave to have it upon my return. It feels just wild. I am thinking about it all so soon.
Business stuff: I have been doing all the unsexy parts of starting a new business, but the stuff I have learned over the years matters a TON, especially if you plan for your business to scale. Building Perma Studio will be immense, but I also think it will be one of the most fun things I have ever done.
Natural Playgrounds: One of my dreams is to build a completely natural material playground one day. I think playgrounds are too bad these days. Our area has many playgrounds that aren’t wild, connective, or immersive. When we were in Copenhagen years ago, before our son could really enjoy them, I remember watching kids in the spaces there, and it was amazing. Since then, I have dreamed of designing a playground like these ones. So this is me manifesting it.
Housing Issues: Another design I have been thinking about is creating neighborhoods and communities that accommodate housing shortages, which will regenerate the greater ecosystem. I think it is a necessary and exciting thing to think through. I have a few pages of drawings in my notebook right now, but this is just one of many ideas I saw online.
Leftovers: This week, I went to see
(she has a great Substack called ) at my neighborhood watering hole, Farm Club. It was inspiring, hilarious, and just wonderful. I loved her book, An Everlasting Meal, and now, to have her cookbook for handling all of the leftover tidbits of the fridge and garden will be just the best expansion. I highly suggest picking up her cookbook or any of her other work.
What are some things that have been swirling in your brain this week?
Last Week of The Garden Planning Intensive.
You can still jump in and enjoy the backlog and information. The first week of March, I will not be offering this discount anymore :
50% off my Beginner Gardener Course (takes it from $200 to $100)
a year’s paid access to the newsletter
4 seasonal guides to walk you through the entire year thoughtfully
$75 off a $125 1-on-1 personal consult for your garden
It is an amazing and lovely way to keep you in the right direction with your garden to have the best success this year!
I have been so busy with class and life this month that I haven’t been sharing as much, but looking forward to that switch beginning a new month:
How to Pay Attention This Week - Watching the shifting shadows on our walls
The Liminal - As we end winter and sit between seasons, we will be in a state of liminal space. A necessary place!
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