The Liminal
Finding comfort with the in-between
I have been thinking about the concept of liminal space for the last few weeks, or rather most of February. It has hung in my mind repeatedly as I watch the snow come, then go, and then come again. As I watch the Bluebird and Robin begin to return, the flowers rise, and then the snow begins to fall softly like a dance between spring and winter, I am thinking about what it is to be sitting between one place and another.
So much of life can be this way. We often talk about the destinations and where we hope to land in life, but the truth is we constantly flow from one beginning to one end over and over again. Being in a liminal space is so common that we often forget we are deep within it. It can be hard to even identify. We don’t talk openly about what it is to sit in the space of becoming, doing, growing, creating, rising, shifting, or transitioning. We also don’t talk about wading through the ends of one thing while being unsure where the beginning of the next thing will reveal itself.
On sunny days the landscape feels light and beautiful even in the liminal and transitional space the land has these days, but when the clouds cover the sun, and things go back to holding a flatter, less contrasted look to it where maybe we can see just what is changing around us, we find ourselves in a state of wading through that odd and forgotten space that occurs in life more often than not.
This year, I am finding a lot of liminal space in life. Beginning something new is scary. It is vulnerable, and there is a lot of new. I look at the landscape on these gray days and resonate with it, not because it is sort of blah out there at times, but because it is in the space of beginning, finding its place, and starting all over again. The difference between nature and I is that nature does it seamlessly, calmly, and in a way that accepts it as an important part of the process. As for myself, this isn’t always the case.
Last week, when the land felt deep in that space of being in between seasons even though it’s mid-February (like, how does it want to be spring already?!?!), I looked at the hills and land in a way where I wanted to celebrate them. Celebrate that they were here, finding ways once again to reach toward the sky. I wanted to celebrate them as I knew I needed some celebrating too, that I was making the shift I knew I needed to. I thought at that moment, why don’t we celebrate the liminal more? It’s a sign of motion, life, change, and being human….alive. Evolution is a necessary and important part of being.
When I was at the end of my pregnancy with both kids, my doula reminded me the importance of this moment in life between two chapters. While sitting there with a swollen belly and feeling ready to jump into one place but also unsure of when it would be the time, I became agitated and highly aware of the liminal space I was in.
Being in that place between one thing and another is complicated because as you are waiting, you are anxious to be in the next thing even if you aren’t quite ready, but you cannot backpedal either. You cannot head back just as much as you cannot move forward. You are neither who you were nor who you will be. You have shifted just enough that back isn’t an option, yet not shifted enough that forward isn’t an option either.
That time, waiting in the final days before having a child was some of the most important in my life. They were also hard. It was as if the liminal was the necessary pressure needed for me to shift who I was in a way that only that space could.
I see this more and more in nature in this season. Where the liminal space is the place where the growth is pushed into being. As if it needs the in-between to expand in the necessary way for new growth.
So, as I sit beside nature, watching it, feeling its way through the space between, I am resonating, finding comfort in it, and not pushing it further than it can be. Life is about the liminal, and the sooner I identify when I am in those spaces, the ways they challenge me, and also how they are carrying me to the next thing I need, want, or feel, the more I find the flow within them just as nature does so beautifully.
The definition of Liminal according to Merriam-Webster:
of, relating to, or situated at a sensory threshold : barely perceptible or capable of eliciting a response
of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition : IN-BETWEEN, TRANSITIONAL
Handling the Liminal Space
Below I am going to just give a few ways to handle the liminal space when it comes. Things I do to soften the tension it can create in my life:
Journal: Many times, when we are in a liminal space, it can give us perspective on our fears and areas we need to do some work on; it can give us a clear image of what we are aching for, longing for, lacking, or areas we can grow. Journaling in a way where you just pour it out on paper is a good idea.
Don’t Judge Yourself: Harder said than done, but we can be sort of out of body and mind when we transition so we may do things that aren’t normal. I try to just let my thoughts flow more and not judge them. I try to not over question my actions.
Maintain routines that feel good: When things are in odd places between the beginning and end, I always lean into a routine. If I keep things steady where I can there is less turbulence in my mind and body. Keeping specific things calm that can be is the most important thing. The same walking path every day. The same breakfast. At the same time, you work out, write, or meditate. Whatever it is keep what can be kept in a routine so your body has a system.
Let it all just flow: If you are feeling heavy emotions, just let them be. Let them pour out, and then don’t overthink that feeling. Write down or note what happens when the spaces are made after big emotions are felt.
What other ways do you manage or work through liminal spaces in your life in order to feel the overwhelming free fall?
On my mind this week
I have been DEEP in course reading and work, but I have also spent time thinking and doing other things to offset all the intake of info I am constantly doing. I am loving it, but being back in school as a parent is a wild experience, so here are some things inspiring, bringing me joy, etc, this week:
Smaller spaces: I think being in a point of transition in life with work and things always leaves me ready to ditch certain things in life along with it. A response I am working on haha, but to accommodate those feelings and ideas, I am letting myself dream about them on Pinterest here and there. It’s fun honestly.
A fence update: This spring I am fixing our fence for the lower garden. We had a big rabbit issue, and they could fit through the fence very easily. You can read about our rabbits here, but I decided with a new fence comes a new style of fence. I have decided to do a Dead Hedge style this year and I am looking forward to beginning this process this spring.
We are heading to England in a few weeks (one month), and I am thinking about the slightly warmer weather and springy vibes that we will enjoy there in the gardens and pastoral landscapes.
It is usually about now. I dream about a greenhouse and one made of cedar, so it smells like the wood and the earth combined. I think about the southern sun soaking through the windows and what it feels like to be in there growing green things. Gah. Yeah, that’s always my thought right now.
What are some things that have been swirling in your brain this week?
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We caught the respiratory flu a week or so ago, and it has thrown me off my schedule so below are some pieces you may enjoy from the past:
How to Pay Attention This Week - The moss and lichen have something to teach us about enduring harsh times.
Destroyers Vs. Healers - I keep coming back to the thoughts in this Friday newsletter a few weeks ago.
Low and Slow - an older piece from this season, but I really love this one.
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