The Necessity of the Pathless Woods
The practice of intuition in wild places happens off the beaten path
How many times do you go on a walk on a carved path? A road. A driveway. A sidewalk. A trail. These things exist for a reason. They guide us. They protect wild places so we can still enjoy them. They offer us a helpful hint for navigation to a scenic view.
As a child, I spent many unending hours navigating brambles, tree branches, gurgling creeks, and spaces with no paths to follow. I followed the feeling in my soul and natural sense of direction. I learned how not to get lost in the woods. I remember moving away from these wild places the older I got. I began to feel less comfortable with the wilderness. Desires to be of the human/modern world were larger than the ones in the wild because they felt more “comfortable”.
When I lived in the South, there were things like poisonous snakes, too many ticks, and more. Over time, the trail felt safer. It felt like the place I was intended to be, so my life wasn’t threatened in my life. The fear and desire to follow the rules to please others became heavier than the desire to trust my instincts.
When we moved back to Michigan, and we found ourselves amongst uncharted woods and land that spanned acres and acres, I began to engage with the pathless woods again. I learned the line between the tamed landscape and the wild one. I would step in knowing being welcomed into this place was sacred. Standing there and beginning my wander, I would just take steps and not think of anything other than what felt right.
“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar:
I love not Man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.”
―Lord Byron,Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
I began to long for the sense of losing myself in the woods. It would become an ache in me to enter the woods without a line to follow.
In the winter, this is much easier. When the leaves fall, it also becomes this way as well. The snow and leaves hide any potential path we could take. It makes us reacquainted with our sense of wander, wonder, and intuition.
As a result, I have yet to be lost but have garnered confidence in what I know to be the right thing for me. I have gained a better ear for what I need and desire in my life or body. It also has allowed me to reengage with the child in me who loved this. The one who worried only about what was for dinner or where my friends were. This child was learning the world, and in all the ways, I am doing the same and can also guide her as an adult.
Spending time observing and listening to my intuition in the wild pathless woods has been the most life-giving and simplest thing I have done for myself as an adult.
This practice isn’t possible for all, and I think it’s a shame because we should all have regular access to wild spaces. But I know that the trails become wilder in the fall as the leaves coat the landscape. The lines we must follow become more blurred, and I suggest you take advantage of it. Choose to listen more to your internal compass than the path before you. You may find you know your way better than you ever thought before.
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Never Pass This Way Again - Seasonal Essay
On Late Bloomers - Last week’s free newsletter
10/13 Reflection - From Where We Started
I begged the snow to stay or give way to a different landscape in March. The icy shapes of the layers under the melting snow felt like they would never come back to life. Yet, the ice dripping down the road, creating pathways and rivers to the water table below us, to the river that runs without our awareness, felt it was bringing something slowly back to life in me and the landscape.
The contrasts of the similarities of the beginnings and endings of spring and autumn always feel defined when clearing the soil of the plants that I believed would never rise in the spring under those layers of snow and ice. The milkweed I dreamed of springing forth and blooming after the lilacs is now spreading its seed after a summer of feeding the next generation of bugs, butterflies, and caterpillars.
I look at all the ways the land ebbs and flows without missing a beat. Letting one season feed into another endlessly. It reminds me to sit back and watch it all unfold. How in spring, I felt like those matted and icy fields around me. How I felt raw and in need of renewal by the increasing sunlight of spring. I think of how far summer brought me, just like the fields that are letting go of all that helped them blossom; I feel so similar it brings a deep ache into the depths of my bones.
It was a summer of finding new roads and ways to grow in myself, like the wild apple trees and the sunflowers that still made it despite the chipmunks and rabbits. There is a shaking in me that I no doubt will find coincides one day with the winds that will blow at the end of the month, but for now, I am suspended between the growth and the endings. The point of living in gratitude for what the emerging of April revealed in the soil of my soul and the abundance of summer grew in me that now will be celebrated and then released so I have space for settling into a winter just like everything around me.
The clouds lower. My hands become colder. The rain comes and goes. The leaves change and fall. The milkweed’s soft parachuting seeds float all around in the north winds. I plan to live suspended here too, and remember how I wished for the changes and signs of abundance I see now. I will consider how much these wild fields and untamed gardens grew in ways I never anticipated. Then, I will look at myself and reflect on how I am no different, and I can see all the ways I grew through this growing season, and then I will follow suit with the trees and let it all float away in a beautiful array of color giving way to decay and new life once again in the spring.
*** These reflections are intended to help you see the truth from the land I hear throughout the week and spend time with it. Longer-form essays have moved to paid subscriptions on Wednesdays. ***
This section is intended to give you a way to look at this season every week. They are high-level ways to connect to the rhythms of your daily life.
Six months prior
Autumn is a time of reflection. Daily, we sit with the combination of everything colliding at once. Just this week, I had peppers and pumpkins on my counter. It is a time of many things ending and beginning. We can miss these things easily. They can feel lost in the shuffle of all the activity and hurry up we feel in life before winter. I know because I feel it, too.
The thing is, though, I beg myself to sit while reflecting on this season as if it is as necessary as clearing the garden. I beg myself to think back to six months ago. If we sit right now and look back, that was April. This was a time of emergence into the world again. A time when we lay the foundation of everything we would harvest in September and October. Think about that for a second. We love to think about our entire year, but I like to look more closely. A year holds SO many tiny shifts that can be missed and uncelebrated. I refuse to do so.
I believe in taking time at the beginning/ending of each season to look at who I am right now and how far I have come in adapting, changing, shifting, healing…whatever it may be. It isn’t about goals but about self-awareness. I check in. I survey it all.
Part of this is also the big movement. I believe everything in life can be compared six months from one to the other. Six months ago, we emerged, and now we are saying farewell. The contrast is a point of reflection, gratitude, and time to check-in. This system continually repeats over and over around the circle of a year.
So I ask myself, how did the ways I emerge play into this time of farewells and letting go in October? What did I grow these last few months that I am now releasing? They are big questions and ones we shouldn’t miss meditating on.
Life can quickly pass, but I believe we can be aware of our lives by taking a little time on our daily walks, when we chop veggies for dinner, or even driving to meditate on these questions. This practice happens best by reducing the noise of podcasts, social media, and more. Just being in silence or listening to music. It is amazing the words that come to mind in these moments.
Here are the things this week that I have been holding at the top of my mind and enjoying right now. Feel free to comment below anything you also love! I would love to hear in the comments. You all usually have some amazing things.
Reading: I recently learned about this children’s book about a little tree that wouldn’t let go of its leaves, so it couldn’t grow till it did. It is lovely for adults and children to remember that growth involves changing, evolving, and letting go of what once served us but no longer does. It is a really beautiful and timely book in the season, without a doubt.
Also, This book called Think Indigenous is a powerful and beautiful read. I pick it up often, and with Indigenous People’s Day this week, I wanted to highlight it. I think of that holiday as a time to recommit to working on building our awareness and connection to what has happened and how we can be a part of the change. This book has been crucial in that over the last few years.Listening: The leaves. Nothing is more beautiful than the sounds of the dying leaves in fall. I suggest heading to the woods at some point and just listening. We don’t need another podcast, just the sound of the leaves.
Eyeing: As the weather cools, the discussion and questions arise about gear. I strongly believe that the weather is never the problem, but what we wear is. Many companies offer great resale options, such as Patagonia Worn Wear. I highly suggest keeping an eye here because whatever you buy can be repaired or resold, and you can keep something out of the landfills. I also believe in Patagonia because I can attest the gear lasts forever.
For this fall and the upcoming snowy season, there is no better piece to bridge everything than the Hooded Down Sweater Jacket. It packs down and layers well while keeping you warm. In fact, I ski in this with a shell over top. You can usually get a great deal if you aren’t picky about your color. They reuse down feathers for the jacket rather than sourcing new ones. The down keeps the jacket great at insulating and breathing, which keeps you warm and dry. I love to think about it as a shiny sweater I layer all year with.Doing: I am beginning to clear away things in the garden. In my spare time, I get myself busy outside. Spending a few hours daily while the kids play outside, I clear the garden with the chickens. A few things to consider: trimming your plants at the soil level allows the roots to degrade and add organic matter rather than over-disturbing the soil. I will then spread straw and the bedding from our coop over the garden before letting it rest for the winter. It takes time to do this work, but the gift is that it prepares us for winter’s cold weather by encouraging us to get outside and get acclimated to the change in weather, particularly when we have gone from nearly 90 to 50 every day. That’s a dramatic change!
I am also part of the team putting on the Harvest Festival through the Fall For Leelanau celebration with the Leelanau Conservancy. Come and support if you are in the area. If you cannot attend, though, the art selection is outstanding, so if you want to check that out, I will post that link in my notes and on Instagram.Thinking about: A holiday season without stuff. I really don’t like the consumerism of things, and I am thinking a lot this year. Our family has been discussing experiences like making a nice meal together, renting an Airbnb somewhere new, or making things for one another instead. Do you have ideas on this?
Cooking: I will be the first to say that soup season is one of the best things, but I need something super hardy in the winter. A simple squash soup doesn’t cut it in the protein category. So, I have been making beans as great protein and nutrient additions, along with mushrooms to add to soups. The older I get, the more protein I need, but it doesn’t have to be consumed in meats but in nuts, beans, and mushrooms. They pack a ton of protein and other important nutrients while being easier on the environment. My favorite dish is to saute leeks, fennel, and garlic in olive oil or grass-fed butter till they get crispy on the bottom of the pan. I then add in some end-of-season zucchini and early fall turnips. Then, I toss in some broth to get the crispy bits off the bottom of the pan. I then add some cannellini or great northern white beans (we can usually source these within 100 miles of our home). I add salt and pepper, of course, to taste. Then, more broth and let it cook with the lid on. I make my beans ahead of time from dried beans in the instant pot instead of canned. I then add some greens that can be cooked, like turnips, spinach, etc. Then, let it all simmer a bit longer. I serve it with some sourdough bread and top it with chili flakes and arugula if I have it on hand. It’s great, filling, and simple to make. It usually lasts all week and makes for a great warming meal. You can also top it with some parm if you want.
Paying Attention: A lot is happening in the world. As a deep feeler, I have to be careful with myself. I have to realize what is possible to carry and what is not. The fine line between empathy and overconsumption of news that can take me from being present while realizing my privilege and gratitude is complicated and difficult. That is holding my attention, and I don’t want to ignore that. It is okay not to have words for that, too. Be gentle with each other these days.
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Thanks Megan! So good per usual. I’m excited to check out this little tree book for Sylvie. We’ve started thinking about the holiday season (first one with a baby) and I think we might try the four gift “rule” - something you want, something you need, something homemade and something to read. Stay tuned! 💛