Overflowing and Beautiful
The words my friend used to describe my stage of life right now have felt the most eloquent this last month
As we close out Summer and my kids are back in school, I plan to be here more, so I am planning to get back to a new routine. I am just sinking into what lies ahead of us this week with both our kids settling into a new school and both there for a full week. New routines need time to sink in.
The abundance of summer comes in like a slow build and a big crash in the northern world in September. It cannot be held. It must spray, splash, and thrash its way into a state of settling, leaving behind a softening to all it touches. Like the waves on Lake Michigan do one evening when we have just begun to believe that summer’s lease has no such end in life despite our better judgment.
One day our warm lake water is still just warm enough to draw us in but it no longer feels like late July where it is a relief. We return, towel off, build the fire, and slip on our sweaters over our damp suits…something I never would have done in July. The water soon will go cool like fall and the morning light changes suddenly as if it hasn’t been slowly doing so since we danced on the shore in the endless daylight of the first day of summer. The feeling of fall flows in like the morning air on the first day of September that now comes from the north. Summer overflowing our baskets to make room for the fall days that feel present sooner than expected.
The tension of ending and beginning comes to a head like the water crashing into the shore. It cannot be held. It must spray, splash, and thrash its way into a state of settling, leaving behind a softening to all it touches. This is the same of these final days we hold tightly to in early September and the end of August.
Every bit of our home feels different all of a sudden when the word September enters the calendar title in our home. The sand-covered sandals now sit next to the fresh (and larger) shoes that indicate our children grew from the absorption of lake water and time spent in the sun all summer just like the garden did. The school supplies piled next to the beach towels that never remained stacked despite our best efforts and best of all the stories of our summer and days lay strewn all over. I will spend the next few months working to slowly lift the sand from our floors, but also will be sad when it is gone too.
This last month is always one of intense, overwhelming beauty, and it sits too close to the surface of our cups, just waiting for one more thing to break the tension that holds it in until it finally cannot anymore. It crashes all around and leaves a wild and overflowing array of things all over in the most beautiful and life-giving ways we hold with such tenderness and a little bit of frustration with feeling it all is too much to take in right now.
I will miss the summer days that hang in July and August. I will long for my kids to remain the small selves they were this year, especially as one begins kindergarten and the other heads into 3rd grade. It all feels big even in what I thought was just a subtleness of growth that now is evident as they jumped nearly 2 shoe sizes over the summer. I am realizing this time in life…the chapter I am writing… is full in every single amazing, hard, and beautiful way, and if any season has taught me about holding this time in my life with grace and intention it is the season of summer. Once again the lessons are real and tangible all over again but also they are new ones in some odd way as only growing old and meeting the same rhythms of the season can afford us.
What I learned somewhere along the lake shore this summer was that we aren’t meant to hold and do it all. In fact, we shouldn’t. We weren’t meant to do so. Instead, we need to let it flow over. Let it get messy. Let it be all the big things. Let the laundry pile up a little bit, but still invite friends over. I noted that we must realize that we won’t harvest every tomato or some things will go to seed and in fact we must let it do just that. I learned to be present for what I want the most. The things that won’t find themselves the same the next time summer comes around such as myself and my children. The sand will always be there. So will the lake, but won’t be there is the way my daughter’s hand feels in mine when we walk back from the beach or the songs she sings about all of her favorite things like rainbows and unicorns. There won’t be their need to read extra books that make them giggle or for us to read books to them at all. We won’t have a puppy this small again like we do right now. I also find that I will not meet this season the same self I was right now. I will age a little more, I will garner new wisdom and experiences, and life will unfold a little more. So even I am one of the things to give my presence to in this season as well.
I wish I could say I found some secret to holding this sort of abundance in this wildness of this season of my life, but I didn’t. It got messy at times. I had moments when I cried because I felt I couldn’t hold it all. I had moments it was a lot, but I realized part of being in this season is finding those edges and moments. They come. They crash on the shore like the waves. They roar like the wave does too, but then the calm comes afterward eventually. It always does. The ebb and flow. The crash and the space before the next one.
In so many ways, summer is beautiful, but for many of us it is immensely full and the welcomed feeling of September brings that deep breath of calm in us all. As the sand settles into the cracks and the school supplies find their way to the classrooms our children will enjoy this year, it feels good to begin to reflect on what a season of being in a state of overflowing and beautiful has been like. Most of all it is amazing to sit back and reflect on what it has taught us, as well.
I am holding the fact that sometimes gathering everything in a season isn’t what is intended and, in fact, less is always more when we have a choice. There are seasons for everything. This season some things were accepted into our lives that tipped us over, but it never lacked beauty even in the challenge it may have brought.
From The Margins This Week
I am starting a new portion of this newsletter. I sometimes write random things in the margins of life, notebooks, sketches, and more. I have done it for years…probably since high school. I realized they might be more worthy than I think to find space to live beyond the margins. I am vowing this next year to start sharing these things that may be imperfect and unpolished. They usually still resonate with others because it is between the margins for them. I am sick of the polished things we always feel are expected to come from us these days. Being creative is about things being unrefined, unpolished, and messy. Finding the gems and letting them breathe just enough to find wings. I am busy and many ideas never seep from my brain to paper led alone into a newsletter, so this is my way as a busy 37-year-old of letting these things find their space to live. Enjoy!
Time of Year
Pink hues
Shifting winds
Summer stored
Fading plants
Misty rains
Summer gone ripe
Swelling squash
Savoring necessary
The endings obvious
September 5, 2024
The meshing of seasons.
The blurred lines between
what is ending and what is beginning.
This is why September is precious.
On my mind this week
September is a new vibe, so here are some things I am enjoying and thinking about right now.
The perfect t-shirt does exist: You guys know I don’t recommend something unless it legit is worth mentioning, but I am very picky about many things and one of them is shirts. I have a long waist and most women’s shirts hit me very funny. That said, I discovered Organic Basics this summer and I live in their True Regular tee. I have multiples at this point because they fit sooooo perfectly and don’t shrink when you wash, plus they don’t cost tons of money. Get some. You won’t regret it. I make nothing on sharing this just so you know. I just want you to feel as good in what you wear as I do.
Lighter reading: I have spent a lot of time reading a lot of heavy books the last few years. Mostly heavy in the information category. So this summer I took a break and have read lighter beach reads like Eight Hundred Grapes and a couple of Emily Henry’s books. I would highly suggest!
A few good shoes: I caved this summer and upgraded to better every day summer footwear. I don’t like buying things new but shoes are one of them and I also am a do a lot of research sort of person as well. That said, I got some classic Arizona Birkenstocks this year and the Pue sneakers from Camper. I am happy and so are my feet and I should be good for a while now I think!
Fred Again: My kids don’t love typical kid music. My son in particular is into Swedish house dance music sort of stuff. So I am happy to report we are all now listening to Fred Again instead of Diplo in our car every day. If you don’t know Fred Again this doc is a good warm-up to him. He isn’t for everyone, but I am always inspired by highly creative people. He is absolutely a fascinating individual.
Let’s Rethink Native Plants: This video was one we watched in depthly and discussed in my Permaculture courses last winter. I love this convo and if you don’t have Toby’s books you need them as a gardener.
Musical range: Speaking of music, I have been working to widen my exploration of music the last few months because I heard you can get to a paint as you get older where you can’t be open to new sounds as much. I like challenging myself so I got into country music a little more this summer and love Zach Bryan a ton. His writing is wonderful. I also dug into some new pop and now adore Gracie Abrams. My fave go-to playlist right now is this one on Spotify though. As I said…lots of musical range these days.
What are some things that have been swirling in your brain this week?
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Thank you for the t-shirt recommendation🙂. I also have a long waist and have trouble finding tees I like. I’m ordering a few and can’t wait to receive them.